1 Soul Matters Podcast

Faith Matters: Breaking the Silence on Suicide – Hope, Healing & Recovery in Faith Communities

• St. Luke Community UMC Mental Health Ministry • Season 1 • Episode 4

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Reverend Jermine Alberty joins Dr. Janice Moore for a powerful, life-saving conversation about the alarming rise in suicide rates among Black youth and how faith communities can respond with both spiritual wisdom and practical support.

The statistics are sobering: suicide is the third leading cause of death for African-American youth ages 10-24, with rates increasing by 144% between 2007-2020. For young Black men, the suicide rate is over four times higher than for young women. Behind these numbers are real souls in pain—individuals who need to know they're not alone.

Drawing from his personal journey as both a pastor and father who walked alongside his own son through a suicide attempt at age 17, Reverend Alberty shares wisdom that bridges faith and mental health support. He offers clear guidance on recognizing warning signs, responding to crisis situations, and creating environments where honest conversations about pain can happen without judgment. His direct approach cuts through stigma with two crucial questions that could save a life: "Are you having thoughts of suicide?" and "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"

The conversation explores the cultural complexities of resilience messaging in Black communities, where phrases like "we survived slavery, we can survive anything" or "what goes on in this house stays in this house" can inadvertently discourage seeking help. Reverend Alberty introduces his HELP model (Hear compassionately, Engage openly, Learn perspectives, Plan next steps) and emphasizes that faith and professional mental health support should be partners, not competitors, in the healing journey.

Whether you're a faith leader, parent, mentor, or someone struggling with your own mental health challenges, this episode provides practical tools, spiritual wisdom, and the crucial reminder that you are not alone. Remember: 988 is the number to call, text, or chat for immediate crisis support. One soul truly does matter.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Welcome to One Soul Matters. I'm your host, Dr. Janice Moore. Today we're joined by a friend of St. Luke Community UMC Mental Health Ministry and co-host of this very podcast, Reverend Jermine Alberty. We begin with a powerful scripture. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalms 34 and 18. This verse reminds us that in the midst of crisis, God is present and faithful. But the numbers we face today, they're sobering. Suicide is a third leading cause of death for African-American youth ages 10 to 24. Between the years 2007 and 2020, the suicide rate among Black adolescents ages 10 to 17 rose by 144%. Suicide rates among Black youth have increased faster than any other racial or ethnic group over the past two decades. And for young Black men, the suicide rate is over four times higher than for young women. September is both Suicide Awareness Month and Recovery Awareness Month. And so we've invited Reverend Germain to share his wisdom on these urgent topics.

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Dr. Janice. It is so great to be here with you and let's do this podcast together. So I'm excited to be here and looking forward to that first question you got for me.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Okay. Well, Reverend Jermine, welcome. Let's begin with the basics. Parents, mentors, and church leaders, they often don't know what to look for. So what are some of the warning signs that a young person may be silently struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Thanks for asking that question. I am so happy to be here to talk about such a critical topic. And so when we consider the warning signs of suicide, not only among young people, but also among adults who may be silently struggling, first it's important to distinguish between a sign and a symptom. And so a sign is what we observe and a symptom is what a person feels. And often the most important step we can take is to truly listen. When someone is a spread hopelessness, even in subtle ways, we need to pay close attention. And so, for example, if someone says, you won't see me again, or I don't want to deal with this anymore, we should not dismiss those words because other warning signs may include giving away prized possessions, withdrawing from social activities, even isolating themselves. These behaviors can often signal deep inner pain. And unfortunately, with young people, adults, sometimes they We dismiss these things with regards to young people and adults. And we can sometimes dismiss these changes as things people will just phase out of or they're just acting out. But it's so vital to take these behaviors seriously, especially when sometimes it begins to act in ways that are not typical for the person.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Cool. Reverend Jermine, if someone in a congregation were to say, I don't want to be here anymore, what should we as people of faith do in that very moment?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

That's another great question. When someone seems at risk, we need to ask two direct questions. And it may be blunt, but they're direct questions. And we want to ask those questions clearly and calmly. And the first question is, are you having thoughts of suicide? And the second question is, are you thinking about killing yourself? And I want to be clear, it can be hard to ask those questions. And it's normal to worry about what they say, yes. But when we practice those two questions, it builds muscle memory. And when we ask those questions, we're only asking them because we're concerned. And so if a person says yes, stay with that person, keep them safe, and call for help right away. And a fast, reliable number that they can call, our text, our chat is 988. That is the U.S. Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. And what happens is when you call 988 with that individual, it connects them to a trained crisis counselor, 24 hours, seven days a week. And I want to point out to people who may be a afraid of calling that number, those conversations are confidential and those services are available once again by calling, texting, or even an online chat at 988-LIFELINE. And so I just want to make sure people know that they are not alone and they can ask those two questions. And I want them to start practicing those things so it feels less scary. And if the answer is yes, I want to just re-emphasize one more time, call, text, Chat 988 right away. You don't have to handle this alone. And there are trained professionals that are available 24-7.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Okay. Beyond the crisis, recovery is a journey also. So how can churches walk alongside teens in their long-term healing, spiritually, emotionally, and practically?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Well, I know Michael Jackson made the phrase famous when he's saying, you are not alone. But beyond the song, that truth is powerful. The message that you are not alone and that we will walk alongside you on your journey of recovery is central to the work of the St. Luke Community UMC Mental Health Ministry. And it's through education and events like the symposium we hosted this year that we want people to know that if you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or any mental health challenge, that you don't have to face it by yourself and that our ministry is here to support you. And that support includes things like the grief support groups in the church or other opportunities to stay connected. I just want to point out that recovery is possible and that recovery is not something that anyone has to do alone. So I just want to remind people to get help. I want to remind people that we are there to hold hope with them, that community is available with them, and we want to reaffirm firm that no one has to walk this by themselves.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Reverend Jermine, you've dedicated much of your ministry to the intersection of faith and mental wellness. So what was the personal or the spiritual calling that led you to co-write Bottled Up Inside?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Dr. Janice, I was working with my colleague, my friend, Rose Jackson Beavers, who originally wrote the book Bottled Up Inside African American Teens and Depression. And she asked me to review it for her. And as I read through it, I became so deeply moved by the content that I offered her some suggestions for improvement. And she responded, why don't we just rewrite this book together? And I thought to myself, what a wonderful idea. And so we did. And as I mentioned, Rose had already published the first edition. And so we wrote this revised version. I thought it was so important to share the personal story of my younger son's first attempt at suicide and describing his depression and his anxiety and how it led him to a place of wanting just relief from that pain. And so my collaboration with Rose grew out of that experience as a parent. And I knew other parents were likely facing similar challenges and needed tools to help them support their children who struggle with depression. And so that's why we focused the book specifically on African-American teens and depression. Because at that time, there were very few resources addressing this issue directly. And so as you mentioned earlier in the podcast, the statistics show clearly How urgent and necessary this conversation is.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Okay. How has your own journey, both as a pastor and as a mental health advocate, shaped the way you minister to those who are battling depression and suicidal thoughts?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Well, I tell you, this journey has made me more mindful of how I use Scripture. What may seem like an encouraging verse to me could actually discourage someone who may be struggling. So, for example, quoting, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. That might sound uplifting, but if someone is living with mental illness that affects their ability to think clearly or process information, don't Those words could feel condemning rather than supportive. And so what I've learned is that scripture can land differently depending on what a person's experiencing. Before illness, that same verse might have been encouraging. In the midst of depression or anxiety ever, it can feel like a burden or even judgment. So that's why I try to use scripture carefully, not to condemn, but to uplift and the whole space for the trauma people may carry. And another lesson for me has been discerning between human suffering and what some might interpret as a spiritual attack. Not every struggle is demonic, and sometimes it is simply overwhelming human pain. And so in those moments, people need to be told, you know, we're there for them, not to pray harder. They need for us to love them through what they're experiencing. And I know in some faith traditions, praying and laying on hands and other practices can be powerful. And they are very powerful, but they also can be really effective when you combine those also with genuine compassion, care, and just a ministry of presence. So ultimately, ministry is about walking alongside people in their suffering with love and with patience and understanding.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Okay. The statistics clearly show a growing crisis for Black adolescents, especially young men. So from your research and ministry, what do you think suicide, why do you think suicide is rising so sharply in this community and at this moment in time?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Yeah, I tell you, I've been blessed to serve as a national trainer of a program called Mental Health First Aid USA since 2008 And so for the past 17 years, this work has helped increase mental health literacy and reduce stigma. And it's raised awareness about mental illness and suicide in our communities. And we've certified over 4 million Americans as mental health first aiders. And one reason the numbers around suicide may seem to be rising so rapidly is that we are now talking about it more openly. You and I both know families once avoided the word suicide, and they often said their loved one died by accident or some other cause. And today I believe there's greater honesty, visibility, and reporting, which naturally makes the problem more apparent. And so that awareness itself, I think it's progress because silence only deepens that stigma. And so at the same time, I believe many people are living in what I call a hope deficit. And I think that's why it is significantly increasing in our community because there's a lot of life pressures and trauma and isolation and people are being just depleted. And so they're struggling to see a way forward. And this is why I think the faith community is so important. Our podcast is called One Soul Matters. I think this is where we come in because we can hold hope for people when they cannot hold hope for themselves. And we can remind them that they're not alone and we can help build bridges toward that healing and that connection and that recovery. And so while increased reporting explains some of the higher numbers, we also are in the midst of a national crisis of hopelessness. That makes conversations like these and the work that we are doing as we are trying to be light in dark places and salt that restores life flavor more important than ever.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Your book titled Bottled Up Inside says so much. So how does bottling up emotions connect with cultural, generational, or even faith messages that many in our community have grown up hearing?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Dr. King said it is a cruel jest to say to a bootless man that he should lift himself up by his own bootstraps. And it's even worse to tell a man to lift himself up by his own bootstraps when somebody is standing on the boot. And I only shared a part of his words, but the meaning to me, it's clear that you cannot expect someone to rise using what they do not have. And so I want to adapt that metaphor. And I replaced that boot with hope, because for many, hope has been stripped away, not only by systems that have failed them time and time again, but also also by people that they trusted who turned their backs. And when institutions break promises and when leaders disappoint, and when communities fracture, it leaves individuals carrying the weight of despair with nothing firm to stand on. And so we know in many of our communities, resilience has become both a strength and a burden. In particular, the African-American community, we've been told all the time, we survived slavery, we survived Jim Crow, we survived segregation, we survived this. And so we can survive anything. And the problem with that is, is that although we survive those things, how do we come out of those things? I think that we may survive, but did we thrive? And so I think that sometimes resilience can be both strength and burden. And so people are taught to take a licking and keep on ticking. We've been taught to endure without complaining. We've been taught to suffer in silence and no cross, no crown. You've heard it all those things. And so the challenge is, though, is endurance without healing comes at a cost. And pain that is pushed down doesn't disappear. It collects. And so like that soda bottle shaking over time, that pressure builds until it heavily explodes. And this is the inability of unspoken emotions and generational trauma. I know that we have heard it said, you know, what goes on in this house stays in this house. You've heard that saying before. And people were just not, you know, this is our business. We keep our business to ourselves. And so folks have just had to hide those struggles and keep quiet and endure. And silence doesn't erase suffering. What it does is it only postpones it until it erupts. And often in destructive ways. And we're like, oh my goodness, I didn't see that coming. You should have seen it coming. But it often is so suppressed that young people, young adults, even older adults don't know what to do with it. And then we finally see them in a place where they just can't hang anymore. They just can't, they just can't cope anymore. And so the thing we want to do is we want to create safe spaces where people can be honest and vulnerable. And here's the other thing. We give them permission to embody what's been suppressed for years, sometimes generations. And in those spaces, healing can begin. And so when we do that, people can move from silent suffering to a restored wholeness. And we claim it, not just their resilience, but that hope. And so we can say to them, have hope, but give them the tools that you need to be able to have that hope.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Okay. So Reverend Jermine, in our churches, faith is often seen as a source of strength and And really it is. But sometimes the message young people hear is just pray harder or have more faith. So how do we balance the power of prayer with the importance of professional health, counseling, and medical support?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

So we're just talking about the Bought Up Inside book and the idea of somebody feeling that they have these emotions bought up inside. And so it really causes a change in our messaging. Instead of saying just pray harder. Why not ask, how can we pray together? Instead of saying, have more faith, why not affirm, hey, I know you already have faith. Let's take faith and also talk to a counselor about what you're going through. And so it's important that it's not enough to simply say, pray about it or God will take care of it. I promise you, I believe prayer is powerful and necessary. But healing also requires compassion. and professional care and community support. And so the message we should share is counselors are available. We're here to listen and you don't have to carry this along. And I also want to make sure people understand that faith and mental health are not opposites. They are partners. In fact, sometimes what looks like a mental health struggle can actually be a physical condition. And so it's important that we encourage folks to not only talk to their physician, but also talk to a therapist and both together. And the other thing is, is that we want to also include prayer, counseling, medical care, community support, and all together, those things together should complement each other and not compete with each other. And so I really believe that St. Luke, what we do really well is through our educational symposium, through our monthly courses that are offered to the community. And I encourage folks to go visit the website and get signed up for the list of monthly learnings. But what we've done is three things well. The first thing is we've built awareness. The second thing we've done is we've shifted the attitude. And third, we ain't talking about it. We are being actionable about what our concerns are. So those three A's are awareness, attitude, and action. So I would encourage anybody listening to our pod Let's talk

Dr. Janice Moore:

about safe spaces. So what role can the church play in creating a safe space for honest conversations about depression and suicidal thoughts?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

I think it is simply from our sacred places, the pulpit. Let folks know, listen, don't be ashamed. Don't be embarrassed. If you're having these thoughts, it's okay. And listen, we have, for instance, you know, at St. Luke, there's the mental health ministry team. And most people know who are on the mental health ministry team because, you know, we have regular events there but I think it would be so important just to have designees to say hey these people in our church have been trained to support persons who are having mental health challenges wherever that may be and you can talk to them about that and so I think just being open about that and saying hey we are here to listen to you and not judge you okay

Dr. Janice Moore:

Can you share a story from your book or your ministry where honesty about pain opened the door to healing, to community and strength through God?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Absolutely. I'm, first of all, grateful that my son gives me permission to share our journey because telling our stories helps so many others. And when I was walking with him through his mental health challenges, and first of all, let me just say this, that my son's first attempt was at the age of 17. And we recently celebrated his 27th birthday. And, you know, it's a blessing. Ten years later, here we are. And he's such a strong, young man. And even in the midst of all his adversity, he continues to strive. And not only strive, moving toward thriving. So I just want people to know that sometimes that story that seems hopeless can have hope, you know, in the end. And so, but I'm so grateful he lets me share his story. And one of the things that we, I created when I was working with him was a model I call the help model, which is here engaged, learned, and planned. And I believe we cannot truly help someone carry their pain until we're willing to hear their story. And not with a judgmental ear, but with an ear that is willing to be compassionate, to hear compassionately, and then to be able to hear openly. And so once we engage that person with that kind of listening skill, then we can meet them where they are, learn their perspective, and then finally plan with them for the next steps. And so I often share the story that I'll never forget hearing my son say that, I just want the pain to stop. And those words made me realize how often people struggle with mental health challenges just simply want relief. And while we may try to reassure by saying things will get better tomorrow, what if tomorrow doesn't feel any better? You know, when someone loses hope, they can feel like pain is just unbearable. And I know that People who have back pain, you know, sometimes you can have a mild back pain, get up and keep on moving. You can have a moderate back pain, you know, and still to be about your day. But have you ever had a severe back pain that you could even get about to be? And that's like what mental illness is. It's mild, moderate, severe. There's some pain that a person experienced that is just so... That's just so unbearable that they just can't live with life. So I think that what we want to do is we want to be able to just let people know that when you feel that pain, you know, you can openly share that with me when you feel that pain. And I'm not going to judge you when you share that pain with you. And here's a difference, you know, we're talking about the back, but I've had foot pain sometimes so severe. I was like, cut this thing off, you know, jokingly. But here's the reality. When that pain is in your brain, You can live without a foot or a hand, but you can't live without a brain. And so, you know, it's so important that when that brain itself is a source of pain and the struggle becomes overwhelming, it's so important that we are willing to hear people and hear their story. And not offering a quick fix, but just be present, be compassionate, be practical on their journey of healing.

Dr. Janice Moore:

For those listening today, what's the very first conversation they should have with a young person about mental health?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Start by saying, whatever you tell me, I'm going to listen. and together find the help they need. And often the first signs of a mental health challenge don't sound like a crisis. They may sound like things like I'm bored, I can't focus. So instead of being dismissive, we should lean in and ask, hey, tell me more about how you're feeling. And by showing that empathy, it sets the tone for the first conversation and hopefully many more to come. And so I think it's so important that if we just learn how to hear people, and just be there for them, then that could be the foundation for a healing conversation.

Dr. Janice Moore:

And finally, what are your hopes and prayers for the next generation as they work to break stigma and build resilience in the face of depression and suicide?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

That's a wonderful question. And my hope is that we keep having these conversations and that we have genuine conversations. Too often, we've taught people to wear a mask and to fake it till they make it. And I believe we need to tell people to stop faking it. If you're hurt, you're hurt. If you're broken, you're broken. And that's okay. What matters is creating open and transparent dialogue where faith communities are truly safe spaces, places where people can be heard, nourished, and supported on their journey and recovery. Because that recovery is just that, it's a journey. And there are going to be moments where someone is doing well, moments where people are struggling. And so what we want to do is this, is we want to let them know, hey, we are here for you. And that's my hope. My hope, my prayer is, is that for the next generation, for all of us, that we will walk together with honesty, empathy and healing on this journey we call recovery.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Okay. Reverend Jermine, thank you. Thank you for sharing from both your heart and your ministry. For our listeners, how can they connect with your book, Bottled Up Inside, and with your broader work through the SALT initiative?

Rev. Jermine Alberty:

Well, first of all, thank you for this wonderful interview, first of all. I want to encourage folks to visit Amazon, search up Bottled Up Inside, African American teens in depression. It's a powerful resource for adults who want to better understand and support young people facing mental health challenges. And then those who are interested in learning more about the work that I do with Solid Initiative, they can visit my website at www.jerminealberty.com. And that's Jermaine without an A. So it's J-E-R-M-I-N-E. My wonderful mother gave me this amazing name without the A. So J-E-R-M-I-N-E-A-L-B-E-R-T-Y.com. And once again, I've truly enjoyed my time with you, Dr. Janice. I want to encourage listeners to come back and continue engaging with this podcast because there's so much more to share and every conversation brings us closer to that hope and healing.

Dr. Janice Moore:

Friends, remember this, one soul truly does matter. If you or someone you love is struggling, know that you are not alone. There is hope, there is help, and there is healing. We will see you next time on One Soul Matters.